He’s got the skills to please most women for a night, but will they be enough to convince the classiest lady he’s ever met to let him be a part of her future, especially when she’s determined to be independent and free?
She’s finally ready to be free.
Aspiring author Beth Berne has spent her life faithfully taking care of others as part of a picture-perfect life on the sunny West Coast. It’s been a rewarding life, but also all-consuming. She has traded weekends and evenings of writing for grading student work and supporting her husband’s career. When her husband cheats on her with a younger woman, she uses the end of their 30-year relationship to transform her life. She takes early retirement, sells the house, and moves from San Diego to the outskirts of Santa Fe to write the stories that have lived in her imagination for years. To succeed as a writer, she’ll need to learn to put herself and her dreams first, something she’s never been able to do for long.
He’s finally ready to commit.
Contractor Chris Johnston, or Can-Can, as his buddies call him, has enjoyed women all his life, as long as they don’t expect anything beyond a good—and brief—time with him. He keeps his independent life simple and as drama-free as possible: running his business, hanging out at the club, riding his motorcycle, checking in on his mom, sisters and daughter a couple times a month, and taking care of his dogs. When a classy, smart, silver-haired writer moves into his neighborhood, he’s suddenly wondering whether his life is simple or simply lonely. To convince Beth to give a bearded, blue-collar biker a chance at something more than a good time, he’ll need to learn to put her first, something he’s never truly done for anyone.
Wild Love is a spicy, stand-alone romance featuring two people in their 50s.
She studied the vast Pacific stretching out toward the horizon where the water and the sky merged in a hazy blur of blue, the ocean curving out of sight. Beth had called this place home all her life, and part of her was definitely going to miss it, but the sea was not enough to hold her here. Nor the ashes of a failed marriage or a job she’d grown weary of doing. She knew she’d been lucky to live by the ocean, but the desert called to her soul, and like the Kokopelli playing his flute of joy, trading old songs for new songs, she was trading the sea for the desert. She was exchanging her past in sunny San Diego for a better future in Santa Fe. A fair exchange because moving also meant following her childhood dreams at long last.
Beth approached the hostess stand and waited for someone to come to seat her. She propped her large sunglasses up on the top of her head and took in the view, something she wouldn’t see again for some time. Near the shore, the deep, teal-hued sea was dotted by white boats moving through the waves, like a scene from a painting. Lighter, faster sailboats eclipsed the large, luxury yachts, some anchored under squawking seagulls floating on the breeze overhead.
She loved the sea, especially on days like this in which the mist burned off early, leaving the blue and green colors of the sky and water so vivid that looking at them filled her with optimism and joy. The world felt bright and bold, full of energy and possibility. She credited her current mood to the place even more this morning, knowing she was beginning a whole new phase of her life, having discarded all the things burdening her for the last several years.
“Beth! Over here!”
Beth scanned the brunch crowd and found her friends Penny and Adriana seated at a table against the railing with a prime view of the sea. She stepped around the approaching server, pointing at her friends with a smile to indicate she’d found her dining partners.
Penny and Adriana jumped up, each coming around the table to hug her, even though they’d seen each other a few days before on the last day of school. They were touchy-feely friends, so she was used to their hugs, but today’s were especially tight because it was their last time together before she headed off to start her new life. Aside from the view, these two were the only regrets she had about leaving.
“Tell me you are going to miss this view and the fish tacos,” Penny ordered, pouting at her as they each took their seats, “and then run back home to be with us.”
“I’m going to miss the view and the fish tacos,” Beth agreed. She reached across the table to clasp her friends’ hands. “But I’m going to miss you two even more.”
“No crying!”
Adriana used her napkin to dab at her eyes as she started to shed the very tears she was insisting not be shed. She was prone to crying whenever the subject of Beth’s move came up.
“We’re not the ones crying,” Beth teased.
“I’m aware.” She hiccupped. “I was trying to command my own emotions.”
Penny put her arm around Beth’s shoulders.
“I don’t know whether to be sad or jealous of you. Retirement, divorce, moving away. They could either be good things or bad things.”
Beth flagged the server to come take her drink order. She decided to splurge on a Bloody Mary, so she ordered one with spicy tomato juice.
“They are definitely good things.”
While she waited for her drink, she held up her hand and ticked off the benefits.
“No more evenings or weekends spent grading student work. No more district professional development. No more cooking, cleaning or doing the laundry for another person. No more mortgage. No more crowded freeways.”
“But aren’t you going to miss the sea?” Adriana grew up in the land-locked Midwest and moved to southern California for college, then stayed after graduation. She claimed she would never live more than ten miles from the coast again.
Beth looked out over the ocean she’d known her entire life.
“Of course. And I will come back to visit. You can’t get rid of me.” She turned back to her friends. “But I have always felt Sante Fe and the Southwest desert spoke more to my soul. Whenever I’m there, I feel a certain…peace…that I don’t feel here.”
Adriana sighed. “It’s the same for me being here by the sea.”
Penny grinned at them. “You two and your connections to nature. Give me a crowded city full of skyscrapers, millions of people bustling about, the best shopping in the world, top-notch live entertainment, and I’m happy.”
“So why don’t you live in New York?”
Penny made a funny face. “Pete will never leave the San Diego area because his family is here. As long as we’re together, I’m going to be living in San Diego.”
Adriana looked at her with a frown. “Why do you say ‘as long as you’re together’ as if it might not last?”
Penny waved her hand towards the sea as if she were brushing off an annoying fly.
“It’s nothing. Probably. We had a tough night. We’ve had a tough few years, actually. Things have been rocky since Beth and Kyle split. Thirty years with the same person either can mean things are routine and boring, or they’re at the breaking point.”
Adriana quirked a questioning eyebrow. She’d never married and depended on Beth and Penny to detail the challenges and benefits of long-term relationships. She’d never dated the same person for more than a year, in part because she’d always placed her career first.
Penny took a sip of her Mimosa, then pasted on a bright smile.
“I don’t want to talk about Pete today. This is our last chance to see Beth before she abandons us.”
“So, what happens when you get to New Mexico?” Penny turned to Beth, effectively changing the subject.
“Well, you saw the pictures of the house, which I love. It’s outside of a small town at the southern end of the Sangre de Cristos Mountain range, about 45 minutes out of Santa Fe. All my things are packed and movers are transporting my furniture, books and clothes there. I’ll beat them there by a day or so, but not by much. The realtor has been great and helped me arrange for the power, water, and internet service to be ready when I get there. She even hired and supervised people to paint the house the colors I’d chosen for the exterior and interior rooms.”
She’d found a beautiful, compact adobe-style house with two bedrooms, a kiva woodburning fireplace, and Saltillo tile flooring. After the sale went through, she’d had the smooth exterior walls painted a fresh dove white, and, bucking traditional design, the interior painted a mix of soft warm colors that made her think of the sky. The main living room was painted a traditional white, but the kitchen was painted in a muted creamy yellow, the bathroom a pale blue, her office soft satin pink and her main bedroom a powdery turquoise blue. She couldn’t wait to unpack and decorate the house exactly the way she wanted. Adriana drew her back to the present moment by bringing up her post-teaching career plans.
“And then you’re going to write naughty books. Only someone as optimistic as you would start writing romances right after discovering a cheating husband and going through a divorce.” Adriana shook her head in amazement. “What about friends and romance? Are you going to date right away? I could give you some tips.”
Beth groaned. “Not right away. Maybe never, actually. And even if I’m ever ready, I’m not doing a serious relationship again. I spent thirty years in a long-term relationship. I’m not divorcing one husband to find another one, that’s for sure. I have washed all the men’s socks and underwear, ironed enough business shirts, and scrubbed enough of someone else’s dirty BBQ racks to last two lifetimes.”
The server dropped off Beth’s Bloody Mary, and she took a long, indulgent drink.
“I don’t even remember what if feels like to be in love, much less fall in love,” Penny muttered.
“Okay. That’s you, honey. Beth has a great imagination. What about, you know, sex?” Rigid in her expectations, Adriana might not have found a man she wanted to date exclusively or to marry, but that didn’t mean she led a celibate life.
“I don’t remember what sex feels like, either.”
“Penny!” Beth responded, half laughing, half in dismay.
Penny shrugged and drained her Mimosa, turning to wave for the server. She turned back. “I’ve been living vicariously through Adriana for years, so I might as well mix it up with your stories, too.”
Beth blushed. “I might try living life more like you do, Adriana. Look for an AF-NF.” All Fun, No fighting. That code was Adriana’s shorthand for an ideal short-term relationship worth more than a few hook-ups, although never allowed to evolve into an exclusive relationship, due to some missing requirement the man didn’t meet. The first fight was always the sign to end an AF-NF.
Adriana had developed a whole system of shorthand related to dating and hook-ups. HG-SY meant Hot Guy, Say Yes. OK-PBU meant Okay; Potential Back Up, and referred to men she’d sleep with if she was horny and had no better options. NE-RA meant Never Ever; Run Away. And ES-EN meant Extraordinary Sex; Exchange Numbers. There were dozens, but Beth had only managed to memorize a few.
Adriana looked at her with a skeptical face.
“You know handling AF-NF requires a certain level of personal independence and a sassy attitude about sex, right?”
“I know. That’s why I’m adopting your attitude.”
“But you don’t have Adriana’s personality,” Penny pointed out.
Beth rolled her eyes. “Nor her libido, obviously. But I’m older now, so I don’t have fantasies about soul mates or finding the one true love anymore. I thought Kyle was the one, and he was for many years, but now he’s not. I’m not bitter.” That might be a slight exaggeration. “I know that while I’d like to have a good time, someone to dine with or have a night out, and even some great sex, if there’s chemistry, since it’s been years since I had that, I definitely do not want to end up living with a man and doing his laundry.”
“Well, you’re choosing a challenging time of life to find a man who doesn’t want to settle down.”
Beth stared at Adriana in surprise.
“What do you mean? That’s all you’ve dated for twenty years.”
Adriana rolled her eyes.
“You know how I’ve stopped dating as much in the last few years?”
Penny snorted. “I thought you were busy with work and this new mission to get every person in Southern California quilting. Or you met someone in one of your quilting classes and were waiting to tell us about him.”
Adriana managed two growing quilting groups, which both included at least one male member. Both were artists, reasonably good-looking, and both were heterosexual. She also ran a stand at the local arts and crafts monthly event, and showed her own work at several Southern California galleries with annual shows dedicated to traditional arts and crafts. She’d tried to get both Beth and Penny interested in the arts and craft activity, but neither had shown any aptitude or deep interest. Beth had started an overly ambitious project she’d had to hand off to Adriana to finish, and despite a passion for fine fashion and design, Penny proved terrible at crafts. She couldn’t stitch a straight line if her life depended on it. She couldn’t even cut her fabric squares to be the same size and shape.
Adriana blushed. “I’m not…whatever. I am saying single men over fifty are not trying to keep it casual. The last three guys I went out with were looking for their next wife.”
Beth paused. “Wait, I thought the guys on those apps were always looking for simple hookups.”
Adriana twirled her glass around on the table. “It’s actually been a while since I went on the apps. And I haven’t met the fated ‘one’ either, because you know I don’t believe such a man exists.”
Beth noticed she looked away when she said the last bit. Interesting. After decades of determined independence, could Adriana finally have met someone who didn’t fit into her world view on men?
She mumbled into her straw, shrugging. “The last two hook-ups may have been with guys in their 30s” She paused. “Or 20s.”
In their 20s! Beth was not interested in that. It would be scary enough getting naked with a man other than Kyle, much less one who normally bedded skinny young women with no wrinkles and perky breasts. The comparison would be inevitable and unflattering. She had kept her weight down, mostly, and did yoga to maintain her flexibility and muscle tone, but she was no athlete.
Penny must have decided to give Adriana a break, because while she was also staring at their friend suspiciously, she didn’t try to get Adriana to say anymore about her personal life. She swung the topic back to Beth’s dating life.
“So, what advice do you have for Beth? Obviously, she doesn’t want to waste time hooking up with losers who don’t even know how a woman pees, much less how to find her clit.”
Adriana laughed. “I’ve seen those tweets. Those guys are definitely out there. I think Beth’ll figure out which ones are going to be good in the sack when she kisses them. It’s negotiating other things like the status of your relationship, surprise feelings, those kinds of things that make dating and hooking up messy.”
“I assumed you’d set those…I don’t know…rules, up at the start, so no one gets the wrong idea.” Beth and Kyle had begun seriously dating from their first shared fast-food meal in college. When they’d slept together several months later, Kyle had given her an old-fashioned promise ring.
“Casual dating might not be as messy or as intense as long-term relationships, but they can still wander off the path you first establish.”
“You never have told us how many hearts you’ve broken,” Penny teased Adriana.
“I wouldn’t say I’d broken any men’s hearts. Disappointed them when I wasn’t willing to pursue a long-term connection? Possible. But they’ve definitely gotten more…desperate…in the past few years.”
Beth shook her head, confused. “You are a committed single person, aren’t some of them as well?”
“When they were young, and there were lots of dating choices, yeah. Also, they were fit and healthy. It’s not only married men who suffer from mid-life crisis. Single guys put on weight and get tired of hooking up just like women do.”
“I have a theory,” Beth told them.
The server came by with Penny’s new Mimosa, and they paused their discussion to all order the famed fish tacos.
Once the woman left to put in their order and get the next round, Beth resumed an explanation of her theory.
“Anyway, you know how we as woman have basically been burdened by our bodies since puberty?”
“Yes,” Penny and Adriana answered with a united groan.
“Well, most guys under 40-45 don’t even go to the doctor for a check-up unless something serious happens to their health, or they break a leg, right? Yet women have had to have annual exams every year since they were teenagers. Our bodies are freaking more complicated. Women’s bodies are eternally bloating, bleeding, breeding and generally making us suffer in some form or another.”
Penny chimed in. “Our bodies have also made us a target for unwanted sexual advances and constant criticism from the people around us. We’re too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, or we’re not dressed appropriately. When I was pregnant with Mark, total strangers would walk up to me and touch my stomach. It drove me crazy.”
“Even though I’ve had an IUD since I was 18, and insist on condoms, I’ve still always worried about getting pregnant.” Adriana interjected. “And then there’s the lovely times when your period comes early and you don’t have anything on you.”
Beth nodded in agreement. “I once discovered my period had come while at a wedding that took place two hours from home. Naturally, I was wearing a pale blue dress. It took me thirty minutes in the bathroom to rinse the dress out enough so most people wouldn’t see the bloodstain. I still had to stand with Kyle right behind me for most of the night so it could dry and people didn’t notice the stain. It ruined the dress, too.”
“Okay,” Penny said. “What does this have to do with guys and midlife crises?”
“I think their crises happen because their bodies start to age enough they notice the breakdown, like arthritis, weight gain, stomach problems, etc. and they realize for the first time they are getting old.”
Adriana tapped the table with her finger. “That’s what I mean about these perpetually single guys suddenly wanting to settle down with a woman by age 50.”
Beth slurped up the end of her drink and set it to the side in perfect time for the arrival of fresh drinks and tacos. After the server left, she leaned into the table and lowered her voice.
“Well, I’m not going through a midlife crisis but I was thinking now is the perfect time to try out the bad guy. Even the younger bad guys.” She’d always been a good girl, only dating the good boys. “Not a 20-something, though. Early 40s?” She eyed Adriana, who laughed.
Penny gawked at her, then gave a little scream in the back of her throat. “Yes! This would be the perfect time. And you are looking good, dear. Men half your age will be vying for a night with you.”
Beth swept her hair back. “I was thinking I’d live out some of the fantasies from the books I’ve read.”
“I’m definitely jealous, and a lot less sad now. Living vicariously through you will be so much fun. You have to share everything with us.”
Adriana held up a hand. “Hold on. You might be right about younger men, though my experiences suggest otherwise. But where are you going to find one? Are you going to register on an app?”
Beth grinned. “Nope. Since I’m in no rush, and once I’m ready, I’m going to meet guys in normal, everyday encounters. The grocery store, the auto shop, the hardware store. I’m thinking lean cowboy, muscled mechanic, or brawny construction worker, as some possibilities. What do you think?”
At least, that’s those were the plots she’d constructed in her head. In truth, she wasn’t sure if she had the courage to put her own sexual needs ahead of any man, which is why her best sexual experiences happened alone with her vibrator. She hadn’t ever been able to assert herself in bed with Kyle, even in 30 years. What were the chances she could do it with someone she didn’t know?
Unaware of her lack of confidence and looking at her with approval, Penny lifted her drink over the center of the table, so Beth and Adriana did the same. Penny once confided in her that she’d trained Pete that if she didn’t get an orgasm, then neither did he.
“Beth deserves lots of hot, satisfying sex, and she should try all three options, and then some, on her terms.”
Their glasses clinked and they broke out into giggles.
“Here’s to lots of good sex,” Adriana announced, loudly enough they got a few stares from adjoining tables. Beth covered her face and laughed even harder. She was going to miss these two.
They lingered over brunch for another hour. Then her friends made Beth cry with thoughtful departing gifts. Penny gave her a silver necklace hung with heart and book charms, and a leather-bound writing journal imprinted with a rising Phoenix figure. Adriana gave Beth a beautiful hand-stitched quilt, large enough for a king bed, made of squares of warm turquoise, lilac, silver and black printed fabric. The design was both fresh and reminiscent of Southwest Native American culture, with the fabric pieced together in the center to look like a Phoenix. Both friends’ gifts were perfect for her new life in New Mexico.
She was definitely going to miss her friends far more than she was going to miss the sea, that was for damned sure.